4:59 a.m.

i need to get this 'down on paper' before i forget anything.

all night long, i had vivid Mom dreams. they woke me up just now. most of the time, we were talking on the phone. it was weird, though, because we sort of moved between talking on the phone & in person.

i would begin a sentence on the phone, only to end it in her arms. unless talking to her simply made me feel like her arms were wrapped around me? i don't know, it was a weird dream-state.

she was sitting on the couch in what i think was her living room, with the couch against that mirrored wall... er, what used to be the mirrored wall? opposite the window? i never really look around in there (sorry, kimmy).

there was a couch there and mom sat against the left arm.

one thing mom said in my dream (this was 'in person', not 'on the phone') was "i am so glad we're close like we used to be."

she also said something about aaron rolling a car. i asked if anyone had been hurt and she said, "ya know...not reeeaaally."

i think this is mom's revenge. so many mornings when i would call her at the buttcrack of dawn and she would answer the phone.

mom: i hate you.
me: i love you!! heeeeeeeee.

now, she has ME up at 10 til 5. VERY FUNNY, MOM!

okay, so the following exchange really did happen. i just think it is fitting now because i want it to be... mom & i talked about this on may 15. it was my morning break...

me: i will miss our conversations.
mom: we will still talk, just on a different phone service.
me: that's stupid, mom.

and then we both laughed.

i like this quote.

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love - time is eternity."

-- Henry Van Dyke, author.

mom & i rode in a helicopter!

Here is mom on the way to Jack Harter Helicopter rides:

recent events.

pictures soon of the new ride. beep beep! (that's annette-speak for, "i am so excited about this and have no time to type because i need to DRIVE TO WORK IN MY NEW CAR!!!")

heh.

"When I say that there is no love in the world, what I really mean is 'shitasscrapfuck-fuckityfuckfuck!'" -Adam Duritz

must remember this one.

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." --anon.

a favorite kiddie shot:

a plan.

when i grow up, i wanna be a photographer. i heard a quote somewhere about how the things you loved as a kid should be those things you go after in adulthood.

i have been snapping photos since i was 10 or so, on crap-ass disposable and cheapy film cameras...

granted, i need to shoot even more. remember to not cut off animals' ears, and focus more on framing & visual interest. also, diversify.

but i can see myself doing it. and being happy. shooting, editing, organizing, printing, album-ing, matting, framing and sharing. all day long.

i need to start small. frame for myself and live amongst my most favorite photos. sell online. continue shooting every day. jump in and do it with gusto, or something.

a business plan would include:

a focus -- i am thinking nature, landscape, animal & child portraiture, cannot narrow it down!
business cards & name -- any ideas?
website
online & 'real' portfolio
advertising budget
equipment!
printing
writing off expenses for tax purposes
practice practice practice -- friends & family suckered in for shoots :)
classes
organization

one of my favorite flower shots you have all seen before, maybe it will be on the web intro: